"Scars Beneath the Skin: Healing from Self-Harm, Neglect, and Bullying"

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"Scars Beneath the Skin: Healing from Self-Harm, Neglect, and Bullying"


Some scars don’t show on the skin they hide in silence, in jokes that are too dark, or in long sleeves on warm days.
Many people including teens, LGBTQ individuals, and anyone feeling neglected experience emotional pain so deep, they turn that pain inward.
Here at Haven of Minds , we see the pain behind the mask. And we believe there’s a gentler way forward.




🎭 Short Story “K’s Journal”

K wrote poems in a journal no one ever read.
They were bullied at school “too soft,” “too different.” At home, love was conditional. They kept secrets, stayed quiet. When words didn’t help, they found relief in pain.
Not because they wanted to die but because they wanted the pain to stop.
Each scar became a scream they couldn’t voice.



💥 What Can Lead to Self-Harm & Suicidal Thoughts?

Bullying (online or in-person)

LGBTQ rejection or identity confusion

Emotional neglect (not being seen, heard, or loved)

Abuse (physical, verbal, or sexual)

Loneliness or constant invalidation




⚠️ Signs to Look Out For (In Yourself or Others):

Wearing long clothes in hot weather

Frequent “accidents” or unexplained cuts/bruises

Withdrawal from friends or favorite activities

Frequent mention of “being a burden” or “not wanting to exist”

Giving away belongings, sudden calmness after sadness




🛠️ Coping Skills for When Pain Overwhelms

Here’s how to deal gently without hurting yourself:

🧠 1. Distract with a “Pain-Free Box”

Fill it with:

Cold packs

Textures (rubber bands, stones, squish toys)

Art supplies

A list of people to call/text

A note that says: “This will pass.”


✍️ 2. Write What You Feel

Journal your pain like you're telling a story. Name the feeling. Name who hurt you.
Then say:

> “This pain is real. But it will not define how I treat myself.”



💬 3. Talk to Someone Safe

Find a trusted adult, a friend, a teacher, or a helpline. LGBTQ youth, in particular, need support, not shame. You deserve both safety and understanding.




🌈 On LGBTQ Identity & Emotional Neglect

LGBTQ people are often told:

> “You’re just confused.”
“You’re not normal.”
“This is just a phase.”



These words hurt. Deeply.
Emotional neglect, especially from family, tells a person: You don’t matter.
But your identity is not wrong. And your feelings are not too much.
You deserve a space where you're fully you and fully loved.




💡 Healing Quote from Haven of Minds

> "Accept responsibility for your life. Know that it is you who will get you where you want to go, no one else."
No matter how you’ve been treated healing starts the moment you choose you. You’re not too broken. You’re just becoming.



📝 Proverb to Remember

> “The axe forgets, but the tree remembers.”
–African Proverb



Even if others forget the hurt they caused, you don’t have to carry it alone forever.




📖 Bible Verse for Worth & Hope

> “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.”
— Jeremiah 31:3



You are deeply loved. By God. By those still yet to come into your life. And by you the version of you that is healing.



If you’ve ever harmed yourself or felt the edge of giving up, hear this:
You’re still here and that’s strength.
You don’t have to explain why you’re hurting to deserve help.
On Haven of Minds, we’ll never ask “what’s wrong with you?” only “what happened to you?”
Your story isn’t over. It’s just beginning.



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